For the poison of hatred seated near the heart doubles the burden for the one who suffers the disease; he is burdened with his own sorrow, and groans on seeing another’s happiness. ~ Aeschyl
Working around negativity can suck all the joy out of life. Forming a “reality distortion field,” when surrounded by someone who only seeks to inject others with the poison of negativity, it can be difficult to realize the sun does shine above the clouds of surrounding gloom.
In work, family life, or a circle of friends, there is always that one who continually predicts the upcoming rain regardless of current conditions. And I hope this one is not you!
One of the most obvious signs that you are in this distortion field is how the group think focuses on the success of others. If your group applauds it, well done.
If you or your group work feverishly to pick success apart, blame it on unfair circumstances, or fear it as bringing only more trials and failure, it is time to pack your bags and run away.
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ~ Carrie Fisher
Understanding you have the choice – and more importantly that you make the choice – to sit and listen or run away is the key to a meaningful life.
Don’t Take Anything Personally. Other people’s reactions and opinions are simply other people’s reactions and opinions. They are having their own experience and none of it has anything to do with you — it does not make you wrong, guilty, bad, unworthy, famous, loveable, or important. You only take them personally when you agree with their poison. If you are “triggered” by someone or they “push your buttons,” they have touched a wounded place in you. Become aware of the emotional wound they have exposed for you, be grateful for their help, and take responsibility for your healing of your wound. ~ Allan Harman’s review of The Four Agreements
Understanding this has been one of the biggest turn around tools of my life. I am the creator of my future. That has been endowed with me. If I choose to accept my current state, I must accept that I am the one making the choice. I have no one else to blame, because ultimately there is no one else inside of my head except for me.
And in the past year I have worked hard to not drink other’s poison. And in this decision, I have been tested and tried well. I have succeed some, relented some, but I’m making progress and so can you.
Don’t drink other’s poison. Take a moment and feel compassion for them, but then forgive them realize that you do not have to be injured as well and move on.
- The Power to Forgive (learnactshare)
- What Does Rejection Mean? (LetLifeInPractices)
- How to Save Yourself from Toxic People (WikiHow.com)
- Joy is Not the Absence of Conflict (learnactshare)