A Man’s Guide to Christmas Survival

The Thinking Man’s Guide to a Stress-Free Christmas, hinges on three key rules: 1) Do what you’re told; 2) Don’t ask why; and 3) Execute the task fully. ~ GRAHAM OSTEEN

by Pete Ferguson

As men, we simply do not naturally get a lot of things. Regardless of any advice I could give you, I would say that you need to know your woman better than I or anyone else and your key to survival this Christmas is directly tied to your ability to think about your wife first.

In looking around the Internet, I found some very awful tips about what to do for your wife or girlfriend for Christmas – awful because Steph wouldn’t appreciate them. Perhaps for someone else, the idea of planting a flower or putting together a basket of soap is considered romantic – but doing these as a Christmas gift wouldn’t be welcomed in my house.

In any event, you need to make it custom.

Here are some tips I can attest are quality stuff, however, that I found on Winifred’s website. She is 66 years old, so you can probably trust the information:

1. It’s About Her, Not You! This has to be the cardinal rule: Do not, under any circumstances, buy her something that’s on your own wish list. This goes for electronics, guns, sports equipment, etc.

2. No Household Appliances. Christmas is a time for gifts she wants, not stuff she needs. Surprise her with a new toaster on a different day.

3. Look and Listen. If you want to survive, just do it. Ask around. If she has girlfriends, sister etc check with them. They usually know what’s suitable.

4. Apply the Mother Test  If you think your Mother would like it, forget it. Move on and quickly.

5. Big Pants or Black Lace? I think underwear and appliances follow the same rule. Good to have, but not appreciated as a Christmas present.

6. Don’t Attempt to “Do” Fashion. Unless she has shown you the exact belt or handbag of her desires and you are 100% you won’t screw it up, wait for another time to surprise her. 

I’m going to keep this post short and sweet. Don’t think you can just call it in for the whole vacation and then deliver a few well-chosen gifts.
If you want to rock her Christmas, do the dishes, laundry and clean bathrooms and the kitchen regularly. Cook and do whatever else you normally do not have time to do because you are too busy working while you have down time.
Good luck! Let me know what tips have helped you out over the years. I can use all of the help I can get!
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