Getting People to Want to Know You Better

Every week you have the opportunity to meet new people, share a little about yourself, and learn more about them. Regardless of the facts of your life, how you frame your perspective will have a lot to do with how much longer the relationship will last.

Author, Career Coach Dan Miller

by Pete Ferguson

Whether you are hunting for a new job, looking for a date, or just hanging out, there are countless opportunities in a day to meet someone new. Online, in person, over the phone, how you project your personality is the tipping point in how to get people to like you.

I’m not talking about lying or manipulating a situation, I’m under the assumption that you are a likable person. What I am talking about is the attitude and perspective you employ in how you approach others.

Friend and author Dan Miller, explained this well in his new book, Wisdom Meets Passion:

“What do you tell people when you first meet them? Like anyone else, I can tell my life story as a healthy version or a victim version.”

I grew up in a home where we didn’t even have running water until I was in the 8thgrade. I knew nothing but poverty. As a 5-yr-old I was forced to get up at 5:30 AM to do my share of the farming chores. Most Christmases I got a new pair of blue jeans – my one pair for the coming year. Because of my parents’ legalistic religious beliefs I was not allowed to go to movies, dances or sporting events. Our home was rigid and somber – little laughter. I received zero in financial help from my parents. I hated the cold weather in Ohio. If only I had been born into a family with more opportunity –


In my family we learned how to make good use of everything – nothing was wasted. We grew our own food and I created toys from things other families discarded. As a small boy I had the opportunity to experience real work and to begin my commitment to work that was meaningful – and profitable. With no TV or radio in our house I became an avid reader and that opened me up to a wealth of wisdom and knowledge … The creativity and ingenuity I experienced as a child has served me in a thousand ways in helping me “see” opportunities others miss.

Both of Dan’s versions of his life are equally true, but which account makes you want to get to know Dan more?

“What is your story? Even if you lost your job, your dog died, you’ve got heartburn and they repossessed the truck – what story do you want to be replaying in your mind to move to a higher level of success? What picture are you presenting to others? If you’re telling yourself an unhealthy story of your life it will perpetuate the same reality. Creating a healthy story could change the way you see your life – and the way others see and respond to you.”

Very true Dan, thanks for the illustrative reminder. Our attitude and perspective are the one thing we can control regardless of a situation.


One thought on “Getting People to Want to Know You Better

  1. Pingback: Why It’s Time … To Let Go | learnactshare

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